How to Start the Substance Use Disorder Treatment Conversation

Having a loved one with substance use disorder can be challenging, but you need to remember that they have a medical condition, not something as simple as a “bad habit.” People with this disorder tend not to realize they need help until they feel it’s too late. At that point in time, denial, shame and stigma may prevent them from seeking care. Early intervention is key to helping your loved one recover and live a better, more fulfilled life. Read on to find tips for starting the conversation.

Preparing Yourself Before the Conversation

You already know this conversation is going to be difficult, so the first essential step is to prepare yourself. Consider what your goals are and how they may be interpreted. While you know you are seeking safety and support for your loved one, they might believe you are trying to control or punish them. Educate yourself on various treatment options so you can talk about different approaches. Reflect on how you feel about the situation and how that might color the conversation. Decide who should be present. Would it be more effective if you had a one-on-one talk, or should you involve other loved ones? This can vary based on the person and their level of comfort with confrontation.

Choosing the Right Setting and Approach

You want to have a clear, steady mind going into this conversation, and your loved one should, as well. Try to find a time when your loved one is sober and not overwhelmed by stress. Find a private, safe location where they will be able to calmly reflect on what you’re telling them. Once you’re there, limit distractions by turning off phones and other devices. If your loved one is especially volatile, you may want to make a safety plan. Remember, when the time comes, you should approach your loved one with a calm tone, open body language and non-judgmental presence.

How to Open the Conversation

This conversation can go one of many ways, so the best thing you can do is to start from a place of love and concern, not accusation or blame. Use “I” statements to share observations, such as  “I’ve noticed… and I’m worried because…” Describe specific behaviors and impacts, such as “You’ve missed work three times this month.” Validate their feelings and experiences even if you disagree. Now is not the time to be right. Now is the time to encourage your loved one to get the help they need.

Listening With Empathy

You probably have a lot to say, especially if you have been dealing with your loved one’s troublesome behavior for some time. However, listening is going to be your most powerful tool in this situation. Ask open-ended questions, reserving judgment, and give your loved one time to answer. Repeat answers back to them in a reflective manner if you need clarification, for example, “What I’m hearing is…” Remember that this is an uncomfortable situation for them, and they may feel threatened. Stay calm, even when they’re not, and try to bring the conversation back to the subject at hand.

Talking Specifically About Treatment 

Now that you’ve listened and validated their experience, gently introduce the idea of professional help, for example, asking “Would you be open to talking with someone?” Go over some of the options you’ve researched. Explain how you will support them through this process, offering concrete help if they seem intimidated. If they agree that it’s time, talk about the immediate next steps. If they do not, let them know that you will be there for them, and open the door to future conversations.

Much like starting a recovery journey, one of the hardest parts of helping your loved one seek recovery is taking that first step. At Everest Recovery, we offer holistic care and medication-assisted treatment for substance use disorder, as well as family support for those with loved ones facing addiction. If you or a loved one is ready to begin a recovery journey, contact us today.